How to Tackle Death Admin Without Feeling Morbid: A Guide

December 15, 2025

We call it the “Ostrich Effect.” It is that overwhelming urge to bury your head in the sand the moment someone mentions the words “Will,” “Estate,” or “Funeral Policy.”

It is entirely natural. As humans, we are wired to survive, not to plan for our own absence. We worry that by talking about death, we are somehow inviting it into our lives. We feel a superstition that if we write down our funeral wishes, we are tempting fate.

But as I explained in my interview with Cape Talk and Eyewitness News, avoiding the subject doesn’t keep you safe—it just keeps you stressed. Deep down, that nagging feeling of “I really need to sort out my papers” takes up valuable mental energy.

So, how do we take the “scary” out of the admin? How do we tackle the most serious task of our lives without spiralling into anxiety?

Here is my gentle, step-by-step guide to getting it done without the doom and gloom.

1. Reframe the Activity

First, stop calling it “Death Planning.” Words matter. If you put “Plan my death” on your to-do list, you will procrastinate forever.

Instead, reframe it as “The Peace Project” or “Family Protection Planning.”

When you shift your mindset from “I am planning for my end” to “I am designing a safety net for my family,” the emotional weight lifts. It becomes an act of love, not an act of surrender.

2. Change the Atmosphere

Most people imagine doing this admin in a cold, sterile environment—maybe at a desk with a pile of scary letters. No wonder we avoid it!

If you want to get this done without feeling morbid, you need to change the vibe.

Pick a Sunday afternoon: Don’t try to squeeze this in on a Tuesday night after a stressful day at work.
Set the scene: Make a pot of tea (or pour a glass of good wine). Light a candle. Put on some calm, instrumental music.
Get comfortable: Sit on the couch with a blanket, not at the kitchen counter with a calculator.

Make the environment feel safe and warm. This is Dear Diary style planning—it should be pretty, practical, and personal.

If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, would your business survive the week? Or would your hard work crumble? Secure your legacy and your client relationships.” 👉 See the Solopreneur’s section in our Ultimate Guide.

3. Don’t Stare at a Blank Page

The scariest thing about estate planning is not knowing where to start. If you sit down with a blank notebook and try to list “Everything my husband needs to know,” you will freeze. You will worry you are forgetting something important.

The secret is to use a prompt-based system. You need questions, not blank lines.

We have designed our tool specifically to guide you by the hand. We’ve broken it down into 30 non-scary pages in our In Case of Death Planner.

You simply look at the page. It asks: “Where is the spare key?” You write it down. It asks: “What is the alarm code?” You write it down.

By the time you look up, you have completed the section. No overthinking required.

4. The “One-Bite” Rule (Chunking)

You do not need to do this all in one sitting. In fact, I recommend you don’t. Trying to document your entire life in three hours is emotionally exhausting.

Break it down into manageable “chunks” over a month:

Week 1: The Digital Life. Just focus on passwords, emails, and social media. This feels less emotional and more like standard admin.
Week 2: The House. Walk around your home. Note down where the stopcock is, the DB board, the safe keys. This is practical.
Week 3: The Money. List the accounts, the policies, and the debts.
Week 4: The Heart. This is the emotional part—your letters to loved ones and your funeral wishes. Save this for last, when you already feel accomplished from the previous weeks.

5. The Buddy System

As mentioned in the EWN article, this process works best when shared.

“This is something that you can sit together with your spouse or alone and fill in.” — Karin Meyer

Do it with your husband or wife. Make it a joint activity. There is often a lot of nervous laughter involved when you realise neither of you knows where the marriage certificate is actually kept! Laughter is the best way to dispel the morbid feelings.

If you are single, do it “alongside” a friend. You don’t have to share your passwords with them, but agree to both work on your planners at the same time and check in with each other.

6. Focus on the “After-Feeling”

Think about how good it feels when you finally clean out that messy Tupperware cupboard. Now multiply that feeling by a hundred.

The relief you will feel when you close the file on this project is immense. It is a physical weight off your shoulders. You will walk around with a quiet confidence, knowing that no matter what life throws at you, you haven’t left a mess behind.

You are not summoning death by preparing for it. You are simply taking its power away.

7. Reward Yourself

This is hard work. It is “adulting” at its highest level. When you finish a section, reward yourself. Go for a lunch, buy that stationery item you’ve been eyeing, or just take a long nap.

Positive reinforcement retrains your brain to stop fearing the task.